


never call me

by foricarus (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Non Idol AU, angst w/ happy ending, lapslock, pining chan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 02:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14154897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/foricarus
Summary: a short woochan fic where chan is pining for woojin!





	never call me

**Author's Note:**

> title from [never call me](https://soundcloud.com/jhene-aiko-1/never-call-me-feat-kurupt) by jhené aiko!!

woojin was busy lately, leaving chan by himself. he felt empty without his best friend. it wasn’t a problem at first. he was just bored and had no one to talk to/hang out with. it wasn’t that they were dating either, but maybe that was the issue.

he’s known woojin ever since they were born (basically forever). he started liking him when they started getting into music. something about the way he was so into music like he was made his heart warm. he soon realized that the way he was feeling was not a way to normally feel about a friend. he caught feelings at maybe the worst time. falling in love with his best friend wasn’t a great idea either. it was stressful trying to figure out his true feelings when he was experiencing the in-between friends and wanting-to-be-more-than-friends moment. it stressed him out about if he wanted to like woojin in that way. more often than not, he didn’t want to feel anything but happiness for the other boy. before his own feelings, he puts friendship above that all. woojin, though, was getting lost in his newfound popularity. chan was starting to seem irrelevant to the picture.

girls were starting to see how attractive woojin was and how talented he was. his time with woojin would be wasted from the girls going on and on about how great he is. honestly, he’s glad his friend was getting the recognition he deserves, but he missed when he used to be able to just talk to him and joke around with no one else around.

woojin doesn’t have time for him anymore. he used to walk with him to his locker everyday, but now it’s once a week  _ if  _ chan is lucky enough to catch him. woojin is popular beyond chan’s imagination. his heart clenches whenever he looks at him. he wishes they were close again.

when they were close, everything was easier. chan was just starting to get used his fast heartbeat when he was around the boy who understood him so well. his heart beats fast now, but maybe just from his nerves when he realizes that he can lose woojin. hell, he’s probably already lost him. he thinks about this often. maybe too often. he knows that woojin doesn’t  **need** nor want chan to like him that way, or that’s what chan believed was happening.

he didn’t ever think this would happen. he didn’t even think losing woojin was an option in his life. he thought they’d stay best friends forever, but suddenly woojin gets attractive and popular then poof! - chan is nothing to woojin. it might be an exaggeration, but it’s what it feels like. he feels like nothing when he’s next to woojin. as if he’s only there for show, but there’s nothing to show off about himself. he’s been dealing with this sudden popularity spike with woojin since their freshman year. they’re  _ seniors  _ now and all woojin has done is get more and more popular with each passing year. chan, being clueless about how life really is, fell in love with the boy who claimed they’d be best friends forever.

woojin had made their friendship go on thin ice ever since the beginning of the year. in summer they barely even talked; fast forward to the first day of school where woojin hangs out with his popular friends instead of chan. it doesn’t bother chan anymore. he found a group of people that do support him for who he is, and have been trying to help him get over the boy he’s been so whipped for.

still, this is really where it fucking crosses the line, though. where he has to hear the news about woojin dating some girl from a classmate gossiping. he knew that they were going their separate ways, but he thought they were still close enough to learn all this about each other. chan’s not angry nor sad. he’s just - stuck.

he glanced at his phone thinking about if he wanted to do anything. he grabbed it and clicked on a familiar contact name he hasn’t touched in weeks. he hasn’t changed the name ever since woojin typed it in for himself. he’s so fucking screwed, isn’t he?

**_BEARJIN!_ **   
_ private message _

**channie:**  
– you should’ve called me.  
– why do you never call me?

**bearjin:**   
i thought you were getting sick of me –   
i’m sorry. –

**channie:**  
– woojin,  
– i could never be sick of you

**bearjin:**   
i cause you more trouble than care. –   
i don’t want to cause trouble for you –   
i care for you a lot, channie –   
more than you think –

**channie:**  
– do you think i don’t care as much for you as others do?  
– because guess what woojin

**bearjin:**   
tell me –   
because i don’t know –

**channie:**  
– fine.  
– fucking fine!  
– guess what?  
– i’m fucking in love with you  
– i’m in love with my dumb, stupid, straight, used to be best friend  
– and guess what? you won’t believe this bullshit!  
– i still care for you as a fucking person.

**bearjin:**   
chan –   
don’t do this to me –   
not when i just got in a relationship –   
you can’t do this to me –   
it’s not fair –

**channie:**  
– what’s not fair?  
– that you can’t like me back?  
– that you didn’t even bother to tell me that you just got a girlfriend?  
– because i’ve accepted that you wouldn’t like me back  
– i’ve accepted that we might never be together in the way i want  
– don’t tell me that you don’t want to be friends with me anymore  
– don’t ever try to tell me, of all people, what’s fair, woojin.  
– i’m sorry that you don’t have to deal with your best friend never liking you  
– i’m sorry that it’s so unfair to you  
– i’m sorry you that you had to be friends with a fucking loser like me.

_read_ _by_ ** _bearjin._**

chan yelled and threw his phone on his bed. he threw himself onto the bed afterwards, his pillow growing wet beneath his tearful eyes. he screamed into his pillow and sobbed as hard as he could. he just lost his best friend for real now, didn’t he? he’s too late. maybe he is being unfair. or maybe his friends were right about the whole thing. he should’ve just gotten over him when they weren’t interacting. maybe this wouldn’t have happened and chan would make some miracle happen and they’d be best friends again.

what happened, though? chan got rejected in maybe the cruelest way known to man and he can’t find it in himself to hate woojin. he closes his eyes and drifts off into a dream about what could’ve been. he wakes up with tears in his eyes.

school the next day was horrible. the looks everyone gave him were mean and harsh. he walked by woojin’s group. out of habit, he looked over at woojin, only to see woojin looking at him with a gaze he can’t place a name on. he tears his eyes away because he  _ knows _ that this is the better option than keeping the eye contact. he doesn’t know what hurts more, the fact that he can’t get over him, or the fact that he  _ needs  _ to get over him.

he feels like crying over, and over, and over again. he hears his and woojin’s name in every conversation. his friends give him concerned looks. changbin and jisung do their best to console him. they’ve been there through all of chan’s troubles and it soon became enough, leading to chan confessing out of anguish. he fell in love with the woojin who walked with him wherever because he didn’t want to walk alone, not the woojin who can’t spare a second for him now.

woojin goes to their table at lunch. he tries to get chan’s attention, but changbin and jisung stand up for him. chan wants to cry.

“can you leave? you’re not really making the situation better by just appearing.” jisung sends him a cold look. woojin flinches, but doesn’t move from his spot.

“i need to talk to chan.” woojin’s eyes fill with determination, but changbin isn’t letting him get away with hurting his friend.

“so talking to him is going to fix everything? because why don’t you just go back to ignoring? at least that gave chan time to think and time away from  _ you _ .” changbin retorts, seeing the hurt flash in his eyes. “just leave already. can’t you tell you’re not welcome here?”

woojin walks away hesitantly, but his lingering gaze on chan doesn’t fade away. chan starts to cry. he doesn’t care if woojin sees him or not. why did he have to confess to the only person that was always there for him?

**_BEARJIN!_ **   
_ private message _

**bearjin:**  
chan –  
we need to talk –  
please. –

_ read by  _ **_channie_ ** _. _

he needed to get over woojin. no, it’s _absolutely_ necessary that he gets over him. he knew this was all pointless, though. even if he tries, his feelings never fade away. he can’t forget how woojin cared so much. he can’t forget how he always waited for him after his classes so they could walk together. he can’t forget when they’d make songs together and chan would make all the lyrics about woojin, but woojin would be clueless about it.

it hurt. badly. he didn’t like that his heart was being ripped apart by some dumb guy who can’t even care enough to ask how his day was. he was going to explode at any second.

he went to school, as usual. days turned to weeks, and woojin still didn’t ask how he was. he’d glance over and stare at him for a few seconds, then go back to talking to his girlfriend.  _ girlfriend _ , right. what chan isn’t, how woojin would never think of chan, how she’s a girl and he’s a  _ guy _ . he really didn’t ever had a chance. he’s stupid for ever thinking that woojin would like him that way.

his friends saw how sad he he got from this whole predicament. they watched him with concerned eyes and faces that looked like they had so much to say, but didn’t. they were worried for him.

he got home and sat on his bed for the first time in weeks. he didn’t cry, nor did he go downstairs to eat all the comfort food he could lay his hands on. he sat there, phone in hand, but didn’t try to turn it on. it flashed with a notification.

**_3RACHA!_ **   
_ 3 members _

**cutiebin:**  
hey chan? –  
we’re worried about you… –

**sweetji:**  
yeah… –  
r u ok? –  
we care abt u a lot –  
we don’t wanna see u hurting –  
just tell us things,,, –

**cutiebin:**  
like, things you need –  
things you want –  
we can get it for you –  
we want you happy, chan –

**channie:**  
– i think i’m fine  
– i don’t want you guys to worry about me  
– you both do enough

**sweetji:**  
we want to help u –  
we only want to see u smile –  
we wouldn’t be txting u rn –

**cutiebin:**  
if we didn’t care –  
i care about you –  
i don’t want to see you hurt –  
esp over some dumb guy –

**sweetji:**  
bin don’t say that. –

**cutiebin:**  
sorry –  
wasn’t thinking –

**channie:**  
– you guys are telepathic i swear  
– i’m not sensitive to hearing his name  
– it’s not like i don’t hear you guys  
– hoping that i’m okay  
– if he’s looking over  
– i hear everything  
– but thank you  
– i just  
– i love you guys a lot

**cutiebin:**  
fuckin sap –

**sweetji:**  
HE MEANS TO SAY –

**cutiebin:**  
i love you too chan –

**sweetji:**  
there ya go –

**cutiebin:**  
whatever mom. –

**channie:**  
– I THOUGHT I WAS RESIDENT MOM HERE???  
– B E T R A Y A L  
– i’m leaving.  
– i can’t stand this slander

**sweetji:**  
chAN NO! –

**cutiebin:**  
good riddance –

**sweetji:**  
biNNIE NO!! –

at times like these, he’s glad to have his friends, especially those two. they always know what to say. maybe he would get over woojin. maybe his heartache would be gone and woojin wouldn’t have to worry about his (ex?) best friend liking him. this is fine.

chan cries again. his mom opened the door to check on him, but paused upon the sight. his mom worried about him a lot during the past weeks. she knew how chan felt about the other boy, for he would come to her for advice and she’d tell him everything she knew. it hurt for her to see her son cry. she entered the room and stroked his head.

“i know it seems bad right now, but know that things will get better. you’ll find a guy who likes you for you and he’ll care so much for you. i know you wanted that to be woojin, but i can’t promise you what might not happen.” his mom says in attempt to soothe him. “you’re so handsome, funny, talented, amazing, and a great son. i  _ know  _ that there’ll be someone just as great as you out there.”

“he was perfect.” chan mumbles through his broken sobs. “he is perfect.” his mom tried to quiet him, but he couldn’t stop sobbing. “i love him s-so so much, but he just c-couldn’t love me that way. it’s stupid of me to think this, but i thought h-he liked me back. i thought he felt the s-same way. i m-miss him so much. i wish i n-never confessed. maybe he’d still hang out with me. m-maybe he’s still come over. and maybe i-i wouldn’t be crying over h-him.” he chokes out. “mom i don’t know what to d-do anymore.”

she pats his head, and rubs his arm. she wants to help him, but she can’t find the right words. there’s a knock on the front door and she whispers to chan that “it’ll all be okay” and slips away to answer the door. chan hears his mom yell from his room.

“do you want to explain to me why my son is crying?! i trusted you with the one thing that’s so precious in my life, and you break it. thank you  _ kim woojin _ , but i’d like you to leave my house. now.”

woojin says something back, but it’s too quiet for chan to hear. the door slams and his mom comes back to his room. chan hurriedly puts on a hoodie and heads outside. his mom calls after him, but he’s going to fast. he unlocks the door and finds woojin sitting on the curb, head in his hands.

chan takes a deep breath. he could turn around and just run away, or he could face his fears. he breathes again, but slower.

“...hey.” he takes a seat next to woojin. it’s not quite exactly next to the other boy, but it’s close. they hold eye contact and woojin shrinks.

“hey.” chan takes a deep breath.

“i can’t do this right now, woojin. what do you need from me?” chan’s steady voice is replaced by his fears. his voice trembles, but is still somewhat strong.

“i miss you. i miss us. i miss being friends, chan.” woojin’s eyes are pleading.

“and you just want me to forgive you? you screwed me over so much and you think that it’s all fine? well, news flash! i’m not fine.  _ nothing  _ is fine!” chan exclaims, making woojin feel smaller and smaller.

“i can’t change what i did, and i swear i’ll explain it to you once i find out why i did it, but for now i’m clueless. i truly am sorry, though.” woojin’s words are full of meaning and chan knows he’s being sincere.

“so what happens when i forgive you? you go back to ignoring me, pretending like you never knew me?”

“i really didn’t mean to do that. i don’t even know why i did it.” woojin explains. “you’re my  _ best friend _ and i would never replace you. why i ignored you, i have no clue. you’re such an amazing person and i don’t know what my life would be like without you in it.”

“haven’t you already seen what it’s like.” chan turns away, finding the conversation more and more pointless.

“chan, you honestly mean the world to me. i feel so selfish asking you for a second chance since i know that you might not want to give me that privilege.” woojin flinches at the last sentence, knowing how true it is.

“did you not understand me when i texted you that i  _ like  _ you? because i thought i made it pretty fucking obvious for you.”

“you think i care that you’re gay? that’s the last thing i’m worried about. i’m worried that we might never be friends again. i don’t want that chan. i can’t let that happen when it’s right in front of m-my eyes.” woojin starts crying at the end of his sentence. chan doesn’t move, scared that it’s just another ploy to trick him into thinking that they’re okay and everything is fine. he then realizes that this is  _ his  _ best friend, and his best friend is  _ crying  _ over this.

“i don’t know what to say.” woojin sobs once again. “i’m not forgiving you yet because honestly, it’s gonna take some time. still, i guess - i need you too. i just don’t want to make you uncomfortable with the way i feel about you. if it makes you feel uncomfortable, i promise you i’ll get over it. i’ll get over you, if that’s what you want.” chan is nervous. he doesn’t want to break their friendship more with his feelings.

“i’m not concerned about the feelings you have for me, i’m concerned if you’re okay. i ran away from you because i was scared, okay. i didn’t want to reject you because i thought it would drive you away. instead, my stupidity drove myself away, and i’m so sorry, chan. i didn’t want to hurt you.” woojin curls into himself. chan watches him for a second, then takes woojin into his arms. he strokes his hair and sings softly to him. he misses this. this is what he missed the most about their friendship.

woojin eventually got up and left after chan’s persuading, leaving him to sit on the curb and think. he loved woojin, so why couldn’t he let go? if he really loved him, he’d need to get over him. he gets up and goes to his house. the sky has turned dark, and the only thing illuminating his house is the tv playing in the living room.

he opens the door and takes off his shoes. he closes it softly, then hurries up the stairs to sit in his room. he’s happy that they’re friends again, but he wants more. he wants this to be more than just a friendship, but he can’t force woojin to like him. he texts the two idiots that him and woojin and friends again. this causes a concerned changbin, but happy jisung. he laughs at jisung’s overwhelming amount of heart emojis, then falls into sleep.

school becomes somewhat normal. woojin goes back to waiting for chan after classes to sit with him at lunch. sometimes, woojin brings his guitar and they sing songs that they make up on the spot. he hasn’t gotten rid of his habit for writing songs about woojin. woojin sings songs  _ definitely  _ about his girlfriend.

here’s the issue: chan can’t hate his girlfriend. she’s sweet and amazing and everything that chan would look for in a girl if he was straight. he loves talking to her and hates that she has the one thing he can’t get. chan thinks he’s happier, though. maybe he’s just tricking himself into thinking that way.

jisung and changbin still get worried about him, wondering if he really is fine with the things happening. they still want chan’s happiness and they are  _ not  _ afraid to hurt woojin if he fucks up again.

the days when things turned normal turned into weeks, then weeks turned into months. it went on for 2 months, but chan still couldn’t get the bear-like boy out of his head. he wanted to keep being friends with woojin, plus he  _ promised  _ that he’d get over him. he was still with his amazing girlfriend, so it really was time for him to just get over it all.

**_3RACHA!_**  
_3 members_

**channie:**  
– how do i get over him?  
– i can’t keep messing with myself like this.

**sweetji:**  
aw chan :’( –

**cutiebin:**  
are you sure you want to,, y’know –  
actually get over him –

**channie:**  
– binnie i’m positive.  
– i don’t want to hurt myself anymore  
– plus, don’t you guys want a happier me?

**cutiebin:**  
of course we do. –

**sweetji:**  
obv! –

**channie:**  
– then help me get over the person causing all my sadness

**cutiebin:**  
i don’t think that’s what you want –  
liking someone isn’t easy –  
getting over them is even harder –  
i don’t want you to go through that –

**sweetji:**  
we don’t want u to go through that –  
we care a lot chan –  
think abt what u’re asking us to do –

chan leaves the chat to think. these past two months have been nice. it’s been nice to be near him again. honestly though, it was draining to try to act like he didn’t like the boy. he should just get rid of his feelings. maybe things would be easier for him. he falls asleep, dreaming about a certain blonde haired boy.

his phone rings in the middle of the night, causing chan to stir awake. it’s a ringtone he never thought he’d hear (his favorite love song from when he was 13). he hesitates before answering. woojin’s voice resonates clearly from the other end.

_ “hey.” _ woojin speaks softly. there’s noise around him. he’s probably outside.

_ “hi, what’s up?” _

_ “i - uh - broke up with her.”  _ and wow chan did not expect that. out of anything woojin would ever call about, he never thought it’d be that.

_ “oh.” _

_ “yeah…” _

_ “you’re telling me this because??” _

_ “you said i never called you.” _

_ “i - i guess i did.” _ chan’s heart pangs at the memory.

_ “i wanted to tell you. in case it was really important for you to know.” _ woojin sounds strangely nervous about the whole thing. it’s concerning for chan, but he doesn’t want to assume anything. it’s too early for him to try and guess things.

_ “well...thanks woojin. i’m glad to know that. i’m surprised that you remembered.” _

_ “how could i not?” _

_ “right, well i kind of need to go-” _ he’s a liar.

_ “hey, wait.” _ chan’s heart skips a beat.

_ “hm?” _

_ “don’t you want to know why i broke up with her?” _

_ “i mean if you want to tell me…” _ of course he wants to know. he wants to know why he broke up with maybe the best girl he’s ever met in his life. she made him happy, so what happened?

_ “i broke up with her because of you.” _

_ “woojin.” _ his mouth feels dry.

_ “i know that i’m stupid, and i understand if i’m too late.” _

_ “woojin i -” _

_ “and i know that i hurt you in a way that i can never take back. i’m so late, and i’m so sorry for only reaching this point now. i just -”  _

_ “woojin where are you?” _

_ “i’m at the park.” _

chan hangs up the phone and runs out of his house. it’s 2am, but he’s sprinting to the park just so he can see that fucking idiot. he runs until he sees the familiar figure that he loves oh so much. he jumps onto woojin’s back and hugs him super tight.

“hey channie! i can’t breathe!!” he complains loudly, not caring about the other people in their houses sleeping. chan starts laughing and turns woojin around.

“you’re such an idiot.” chan says wholeheartedly. woojin scoffs and hugs chan, snuggling into his chest.

“shut up.” he muffles into chan’s shirt.

“make me.” chan retorts without thinking. woojin smiles and glances at chan’s mouth. he doesn’t want to overstep boundaries. chan doesn’t try to make the first move. he needs to be sure that  _ this  _ is what woojin wants.

he gives woojin a curt nod, giving him a sign that it’s totally okay. he moves slowly and pauses when their lips get really close.

“i’m scared. i don’t want to mess this up.” he mumbles quietly as their foreheads press together.

“then don’t mess it up.” chan replies, giving woojin the extra courage he needed.

woojin presses their lips together softly and it feels  _ right _ . chan cries and kisses him back harder. he doesn’t want to let go. woojin cups his face and wipes away the tears. woojin pulls back.

“why are you crying?” woojin asks with a dumb smile and red cheeks.

“it’s all perfect.” chan chokes out, making woojin laugh and roll his eyes.

“do you know why i ignored you?” woojin asks stiffly, scared to say his true feelings.

“did you finally figure it out?” chan is so curious and wants to know what he did wrong.

“i - yeah. yeah, i did.” woojin thinks thoughtfully.

“well, are you gonna explain it??” woojin slaps his arm, but continues to speak.

“i was catching feelings for the boy i hung out with everyday. i didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so i guess we fell apart without me even knowing i was trying to escape from my feelings. i’ve realized that i care so much for you. i want to see you happy everyday, and i want to be with you every second of the way.” woojin’s eyes water as he watches chan break down into a sobbing mess once again.

“you’re so stupid.” he says, laughing slightly. his laugh turns watery from his tears.

“whatever you say, lover boy.” woojin kisses away his tears and holds onto him tightly. chan is happy. woojin is happy. they’re happy.

for once in his life,  **he feels complete.**

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! leave comments and kudos if you want to!! find me on [tumblr](https://hanlix.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/lovinhoon) to yell at me abt stray kids!!


End file.
